There are some things that red-lipstick-wearers know to be true:
- The search for that perfect shade is a Grail Quest that will last a lifetime.
And as soon as you find it, they’ll discontinue it. In the meantime, you just walk around the drug store like this:
- Technique. It’s a killer.
Ok, so first foundation, then powder, lip liner, stain, and finally lipstick? But not from the tube. Has to be applied with a brush. Wait, was the powder supposed to come before your first application, or after? And then blott? I don’t even know anymore.
- Perfection is the only acceptable paradigm.
Nothing has the potential to look messier than red lip color.
- Whiten those pearly whites.
Red lipstick does not make your teeth look whiter. Every minute stain left from coffee, tea, or your long-gone smoking habit will be heinously highlighted. You have been warned.
- Every water bottle you own is gonna look like this:
No matter how many times goes through the dishwasher or soaks in the sink.
What is this witchcraft?!
- One is never enough.
I have an entire make-up bag of red lipstick, lip liners, and stains. And I’m not sorry.
- Friends, family, and lovers BEWARE.
My kiss is deadly! Uh, well, I mean, not deadly, but definitely long-lasting.
- And your average make-up remover? HA!
Try a sand-blaster, my friend. That shit is never coming all the way off. Doubly true if you touch or wipe your mouth by accident. “Oh this? Yeah, I’m just not responsible enough to wear lipstick without getting it all over myself.”
- In the end, it’s all worth it to apply that liquid confidence and strut your stuff.
No matter if your battle armor is applied out of a tube — you rock that mutha-f*cka.
One thought on “10 Universal Truths (about wearing red lipstick)”
Yes to red!